�Who Says You Can�t Teach an Old Dog a New Trick or Two�

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they were travelling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

What did Buddha emphasize here? He said, “It is effortless.” Having ‘peace of mind’ is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process. When there is peace inside you, that peace permeates to the outside. It spreads around you and in the environment, such that people around start feeling that peace and grace.

Is there anything to add – I think not

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

I’m sure we have all heard this story before. But to me I think this story needs a little twist. It needs to convey that anger doesn’t only harm those we vent on, but that our anger hurts us as well. When we vent on others it may feel like a release, but internally we are encompassed by guilt and shame for our actions and in the end we have resolved nothing. That said, we may be able to consciously trick ourselves into believing that the other person deserved our wrath and that our actions were justifiable, but our subconscious (our conscience) will feel the turmoil of causing harm to another being and we will not find peace after expressing our anger which ultimately drives us away from our greatest quest – self love.

There is always two sides to every coin and there is always an option for every course of action. To my way of thinking – if I cause no harm to others – I cause no harm to myself.

PS – I am currently on the road touring as Lefty Nelson, so unfortunately posts may be a bit sporadic for the next month. Remember the doors to living, taking risks and doing new things opens at 50 – give it a shot – you can do whatever you want. Just remember not to judge your results on the previous results of others. Just do your best and Live ~ Learn ~ Love ~ Laugh!

Keep smiling. www.leftynelson.com

Understanding Desire

From the book “The Book of Not Knowing” written by Peter Ralston

Desire

Now we will look at two very deep core impulses that are the foundation for most of our emotional reactions and survival perceptions. These are desire and pain. Certainly the opposite of desire is repulsion, or perhaps indifference, and the opposite of pain is pleasure. But these opposites are tacitly included in the activity itself and share the same nature. So by uncovering the composition of these two important impulses we uncover so much more. I want to focus on the most primary feeling states that drive us, and we are clearly driven by desire and pain. …

Below are the components found in relation to desire. As with all the emotional states we’ve examined so far, eliminating any one or all of the components that comprise the activity of desire will eliminate the desire itself.

The possibility of a future
An assessment that something is missing now
Concept of a preferred experience
Separation between object-of-desire and self
Feeling-sensation of imagined pleasure, masking overlooked pain

What is the distinction between what we intend and what we desire. The word want is often used as either intend or desire. Intention is committing to take a course of action – it is what we actually end up doing, and so in this way we can say it is what we want to do. Desire is imagining something we’d like to experience in the future. It is indulging a conceptual possibility, recognizable as the pleasure-charged effect evoked by imagining that experience coming to pass. This is different from what we intend to do. Although there may be an urge or impulse to have a desired experience come about, desire doesn’t demand action. Intent does. We might intend to act on our desires, or we might not. If we want to bring about our desires, or we want to do something else, we are talking about what we intend to do rather than what we merely desire.

Remember, the survival of self and self-concept is at the core of all desire. Clearly the self is so confused with complex agendas regarding what should survive – in other words, what should constitute self and life, and what ought to provide a sense of worth and value – that our multiple and varied desires just seem like natural activities. They may often appear benign, but they are still a central aspect of self-survival and self-concern. As such, our desires contribute to our suffering.

Our next stop is Pain.

Understanding Anger

From the book “The Book of Not Knowing” written by Peter Ralston

Anger

Recall some time when you were clearly angry. Concentrate on this feeling. What is necessary for the anger to be there, what is it doing, what is it accomplishing? Dissect this emotion for yourself and see if you can come up with the components of anger.

As with fear, four components seem to compose anger: Remember, these elements need to be seen as occurring in the anger itself, not as causing or contributing to the anger.

The four components of Anger are:

About something that has passed
Based on a feeling of hurt
Revealing a core sense of incapacity
Regenerating a sense of capacity through a destructive intent or feeling reaction.

Following the same investigative techniques used for fear, we discover that in contrast to fear’s relationship with the future, Anger exists in relation to the past. It is historically based. Just as fear can be relating to the next millisecond or days from now, anger can relate to something that occurred a fraction of a second ago, or many years ago. But it is always about the past… It happened already. You’re not afraid, because it’s not something that might happen. You’re angry, because it did happen. And it hurt.

Once again, eliminating any component of anger will eliminate the anger. If there is no concept of the past, there is no anger. If your experience is totally in the present, anger cannot exist.

Our next stop is Desire!

From the book “The Book of Not Knowing” written by Peter Ralston

Assumptions don’t just exist beneath the surface of our consciousness; they also occur in the form of shared ignorance. In our bottom line work, it becomes more real for us that our self-mind is composed of unrecognized personal assumptions and core beliefs. But it is also composed of collective human assumptions that no one questions or even thinks to question.

From here I will jump ahead to what are considered the four primary feeling states: Fear, Anger, Desire and Pain. This week I have pulled excepts on Fear.

Fear

What constitutes fear? I don’t mean what generates fear, but what is necessary in order to create a state of fear? What are the components of fear? The mere presence of fear is usually enough information for us, and we act on it, trying to make it go away. …

When we look at fear we see something unwanted, an uncomfortable feeling we’d rather not have. We find fear in many different forms – being worried, anxious, shy, startled, frightened, timid, scared, cowardly, terrorized and so on. We imagine that fear is necessary because it keeps us from doing something harmful to ourselves like walking off a cliff, right? Hogwash. Fear doesn’t keep us from falling off the cliff. Knowing we would die keeps us from walking off the cliff. …

All emotions are conceptually based. They are complex rather than simplistic impulses. In the case of fear, we find four major components, three which are conceptual.

An unwillingness to have a particular experience.
The possibility of a future.
Conceiving an unwanted scenario involving a particular experience.
A physiological feeling-reaction.

(For a more in-depth explanation you need to buy the book)

An unwillingness to have a particular experience – … Sounds suspicious doesn’t it? Maybe, but it’s true. If this unwillingness is actually a component of fear, then fear cannot occur without it (it also makes fear easier to see as an activity). Test it out. If you become completely willing to experience falling from the cliff, dying, being injured, being ridiculed by the crowd, looking like a fool, or whatever it is you’re afraid of, then you cannot be afraid. It says nothing about your safety – that’s a survival issue – it only says you won’t be afraid. This is true of all components. A component is part of the structure of the thing itself; therefore eliminating any component will eliminate the thing. …

The possibility of a future – A future has to exist in order for fear to take place. Fear doesn’t take place in relation to the present, only in relation to the future. Yet we seem to experience fear in the present, so what’s this future business all about? The future component is frequently misunderstood at first, so hang in there for a moment. If we observe closely enough, we will notice that whatever is occurring as fear in the present is in relation to the possibility or notion of the future. Most of the time, it is clear that you are afraid of what you think is going to happen or might happen. This means it has not yet happened. Without the future (or the past, which has already passed safely) there would be no possibility other than what is happening, so fear could not arise. …

Conceiving an unwanted scenario involving a particular experience – Is somewhat of a combination of the first two, but a new element is introduced. This component is generating a scenario that something unwanted will occur in the future. It is not simply unwillingness, nor is it just the future. It is the conception that whatever you are unwilling to experience will happen in the future. Frequently this takes the form of picturing a negative outcome – a mate leaving you, losing your fortune, breaking a leg, falling off a cliff – and imagining it happening to you. If you are willing to experience whatever it is, you won’t be afraid. And if you don’t conceive of something bad happening then you won’t be afraid. Without the “scenario” – the particular thought, image, notion, sense, or whatever form it may take – occurring for you, you won’t be afraid, even if you would be unwilling for such a thing to happen, and you do imagine a future. …

A physiological feeling-reaction – When we put these major components for fear together, we have fear, the sensation or physiological reaction of which manifests as a specific negative “feeling.” This could be called the fourth component. These components altogether are experienced or “known” to us as an emotion, an activity that is felt and called fear. Almost no one has ever wondered what the activity of fear is all about. Contemplating these distinctions of the composition of fear allows us a very different experience of this activity. By making these distinctions we can eliminate fear simply by eliminating any or all of the elements that compose it. This is so with any emotion.

Our next stop is anger!

By laughing at life Bob Hope made a difference – something we are all capable of doing.

ON TURNING 70

‘You still chase women, but only downhill.’

ON TURNING 80

‘That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.’

ON TURNING 90

‘You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.’

ON TURNING 100

‘I don’t feel old. In fact , I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.’

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING

‘I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.’

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR

‘Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover’.

ON GOLF

‘Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.’

ON PRESIDENTS

‘I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.’

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER

‘When I was born, the doctor said to my mother,Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.’

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL

‘I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.’

ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY

‘Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.’

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS

‘That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.’

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES

‘I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.’

ON GOING TO HEAVEN

‘I’ve done benefits for ALL religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.’

Lesson 30

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

The Passage of Time Heals Almost Everything. Give Time Time.

Here Regina begins by telling a story based upon her numerous years of attendance at a Jesuit Retreat house in Cleveland. She expands by stating how her friend Gerri was always there to listen and provide her with some consoling words of wisdom for her most recent dilemma, and always concluding her advice with, “Sometimes you just have to give time time.” To which Regina was always confused as it appeared she never had time.

She concludes her story by telling her readers that for the majority of her life she despised her father, yet given enough time she was able to let go of her anger and see him in a new light prior to his death.

I too agree that something’s take time to overcome, however for anything to change some type of new action must take place. Things that stay the same remain the same and it was Regina’s growth and willingness to change that altered her perceptions.

For the past two weeks I have been spending some time with two of my sons in Nashville. Always a pleasure – always a challenge and they too like to say “Just give it time.” To which I reply – “I’m cool so long as you are aware of why you are giving it time and that you are willing to take some new action to better yourself as a person during this period. Because doing nothing is not the same thing as giving something time.

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it’s the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it’s the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. ‘C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.’ ‘What brought this on?’ she asked with a smile. ‘Oh, nothing special, it’s just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.’

Author Unknown

Two things I have to say about this story:

First, life is a very precious commodity and we really need to remind ourselves to be grateful for every minute of it, perceived good or perceived bad as it really is only a perception
Second, if this wise old gentleman had bought my book he would have had to buy 1,300 more marbles. (haha)

I AM THANKFUL

For the wife
Who says it’s hot dogs tonight,
Because she is home with me, and not out with someone else.

For the husband
Who is on the sofa being a couch potato?
Because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

For the teenager
Who is complaining about doing dishes?
Because it means she is at home, not on the streets.

For the taxes i pay
Because it means I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party
Because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug
Because it means I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work
Because it means I am out in the sunshine

For a lawn that needs mowing,
Windows that need cleaning,
And gutters that need fixing
Because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining I hear about the government
Because it means we have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot
I find at the far end of the parking lot
Because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge heating bill
Because it means I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church who sings off key
Because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing
Because it means I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
Because it means I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
Because it means I am alive.

And finally, for too much e-mail because
It means I have friends who are thinking of me.

Author Unknown

Life is simply – a matter of perspective. Our personal perspective. There’s always two sides to a coin.

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.

When I received this nice (my interpretation) little tale it was tagged with a religious point of view – which I have clipped. Not because it was unacceptable or disturbing – (TO ME) – only because it was one persons perspective and I wanted to leave it open to interpretation by all.

Which brings me to an interesting point – how amazing human beings are!

We can manipulate anything to fit our agenda – believe whatever we want to believe and then apply our belief to our lives as if it was an indisputable fact.

Does that make ours or others views and beliefs right or wrong – negative or a positive – acceptable or unacceptable and then is the perceived level of severity – not also subjective?

I guess it all comes down to which side of the fence one is perched.

For myself – from this message I got – If we are willing to give unconditionally our reward will be far greater than what we give away in the first place. (Not always or only monetarily) And of course I draw this conclusion because it fits inline with my way of thinking, satisfies my belief and conforms with what I deem acceptable.

So what tag works for you?