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Lesson 31

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

No Matter How Good or How Bad a Situation Is, It Will Change.

Here Regina begins with a friends saying, “Life is rough, wear a helmet.”

She moves on to “The secret is not to get too attached to any of life, good or bad. The good times will come and then they will go. Our job is not to cling to one or to fight the other but to allow them both to teach us and polish us.” She expands to an old saying that covers all events in life, “This too shall pass.” And follows with, “Most people don’t want to use that when it comes to good times. We don’t want them to pass. We want them to last forever. But sooner or later, everything changes.”

“The key is to ride life like a raft in a river and let it carry you through the white water and still water and beyond. Float on down like a leaf, holding on to nothing, trusting the flow of the river.”

She ends with “…life is a wild, wonderful journey. Chaos will come, calm will follow, and then it will start up all over again. The secret is to savor the ride. All of it.”

For myself I couldn’t agree more, and the sooner I accept life on life’s terms – the sooner my life gets better. One of the ways in which I was able to accept this belief was to accept life was going to happen the way life naturally happens and to remove my expectations and desires for life to adjust to my desires and remain pleasant. I also understand that the life I perceive is by no means the same life others see or for that matter the whole truth.

The Buddha said, “Life is misery” and I agree – he then stated if we accept it – it no longer controls us and from there we can move towards a peaceful internal existence. After all it’s all about us and how we feel – isn’t it! So I guess we do control the final choice.

Lesson 29

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

What Other People Think of You Is None of Your Business.

This lesson Regina starts off by stating all the names she has been called as a professional journalist. Her favourite two are: “I lose IQ points every time I read your column.” And “I don’t know what kind of a degree you have – but it must have to do with stupidity!”

She said her editor tried to talk her out of writing a column. He said people will be downright mean and nasty, and cautioned they will attack you every way they can.

She goes on to explain how after watching the movie Chalk Talk she was able to apply what she had heard in the movie to the comments she has received over the years.

Father Martin:

“Would you be upset if he called you a chair?” he asked her.
“Of course not,” she said.
“Why not?” he asked.
“I know I’m not a chair,” she said.
“Don’t you know that you aren’t a whore?” he asked.

Regina added, “It doesn’t matter what people call you, you decide what you answer to.” I would simply remember my identity, what I would answer to.

For myself, I try and write my blogs to inspire and to provoke thought. Am I always successful, well I guess that would depend on who’s reading, how they are feeling and whether or not the blog was of interest to them or for that matter, irritated them?

That said, I told myself when I began to write these blogs that I was going to respect everyone’s point of view and comments, regardless of what they said or how they said it. So hopefully this answers why I rarely if ever comment back. You see I may agree, or I may disagree, either way the reader’s comment has the same right as mine to be heard – and that doesn’t make mine or theirs right.

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The cashier rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

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I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get- one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said ‘buy one-get one free.’ ‘They’re already buy-one- get-one-free, ‘ she said, ’so I guess they’re both free’. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, ‘Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said, ‘Where?’

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the North?. When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh I don’t keep up with all that stuff.’

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, ‘The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.’ He responded, ‘Is that Eastern or Pacific time?’ Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, ‘Uh, Pacific.’

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

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My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

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I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?’

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While working at a pizza place I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.’

I can laugh because I can see myself in these people – possibly not in all of these senerios but certainly drawing a blank when faced with the obvious.

Lesson 27

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

Always Choose Life.

Throughout this lesson Regina discusses how she chose life when confronted with an unexpected pregnancy at age 21 and later in life when at 41 she found out she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

She concludes with, “Life took me down a path I didn’t want to be on, didn’t plan to be on. Yet once there, I learned the secret of life is just that: to chose life. Living is so dear.

I too believe living is a choice and life is what we chose to make of it. As a slogan for Your Second Fifty I expanded on the catchy phrase Live, Laugh, Love and added Learn. Live ~ Learn ~ Laugh ~ Love

The way I see it, is there really any other purpose to live than to learn?

Even if that learning experience was only in learning how to accept each situation for what it is.

Here is a song I wrote with my son’s, in the hope of conveying acceptance of life as it unfolds.

Enjoy The Journey
Written by: Bob, Clint, Dave, Frank & Scott Moffatt

Verse 1
Back in 1982, my skin was shinny, soft and new
But over time it begun to crack, but I keep it smooth with extra fat
Now it sags underneath my arm and that old six pack has lost it’s charm
But let me tell you one hard fact, it’s a waste of time to over react

Verse 2
Back in 1992, I thought I’d lost a hair or two
But when I looked at the back, I darn near had a heart attack
Now it grows in my nose and in my ears it grows in rows
But let me tell you one hard fact, it’s a waste of time to over react

Chorus
Time waits for no one, time moves along
The clock keeps on tick’n, to the beat of your song
Time waits for no one, so don’t over react
Enjoy the journey cause your bags are packed

Verse 3
Back in 2002, I had this fear I’d lost her too
But the good lord choose to give her back, today my life is right on track
Now I know what I need to know, I cherish each moment and I take it slow
But let me tell you one hard fact, it’s a waste of time to over react

Chorus
Time waits for no one, time moves along
The clock keeps on tick’n, to the beat of your song
Time waits for no one, so don’t over react
Enjoy the journey cause your bags are packed

My son’s are currently recording the music for this song and once it’s completed I’ll post a link to it on www.ysfmotivation.com.

Lesson 26

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

Frame Every So-Called Disaster with These Words: “In Five Years, Will This Matter?”

In today’s lesson Regina tackles how our perceptions of an event change over time and how today’s disaster will have limited if any impact on our life five years from now.

In her lesson she uses an interesting story about a young boy that had failed grade nine while struggling through a troubled period in his life. By failing grade nine his age had made him ineligible as a player in his senior year of high school football. Somehow this information seemed to slip through the cracks until one person sitting at home watching TV recognized him during an after game celebration. He then proceeded to tell his mom; who then proceeded to tell the coach.

From that point forward the coach had a choice to make. Keep this information hidden from league officials and possibly win the city championship (the team was 13 – 0 heading into the championship game) or take the hit of an ineligible player and be disqualified. The coach decided to opt for disqualification because he believed that in 5 years time after these young men had finished college, the lesson of honesty would be of a far greater service than a forgotten high school football championship.

These are calls we face on a daily basis. Challenges that present a choice; a choice based upon how we determination our current situation and the impact our actions will have on our life now and/or somewhere down the road.

The question I find most interesting: Is there a right way or a wrong way? I guess based upon Regina’s statement, “In Five Years, Will This Matter?” either way would have had little or no impact on these players. All I know is that this coach made his best decision based upon what he/we have been taught as a society to be morally correct. But was it the right thing for all the boys on that team that played their hearts out to attain their goal and ended up coming up empty in the end (less the moral lesson). I venture to guess Donald Trump or Charlie Sheen would have a completely different view on this – that being – Winning is everything!

So who is right and who is wrong? I guess that all depends on the culture, religion and environment we grew up in.

As for time healing all – I think politics provides us with the perfect example of just how soon we forget.

By Coca Cola CEO Brian Dyson

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

When I see a story like this written by one of the worlds leading CEO’s I have mixed emotions. First off there are always numerous opportunities to slap large corporations like Coca Cola. In fact I’ve witnessed first hand operating conditions at a number of Coca Cola’s 3rd world facilities. BUT I believe the article written here is an excellent example of how we as human beings find opportunities to redirect our thoughts to prevent ourselves from honestly seeing our self.

The words written here are the keys, that if we chose to use them, would lead each and everyone of us to the ideal dream life. But ya know for many of us it’s so much easier to trash one side of the coin so we don’t have to look at the other and make these type adjustments in our lives.

An old story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!”

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!” To which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. “You were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.” And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. “And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this.”

“No,” his friend replied, “This is good!” “What do you mean,’This is good’? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?” “If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you.”

Our life unfolds via the projection of our perspective. How we perceive life becomes our reality. If you don’t like the way your life is unfolding change the film in your mental projector to whatever it is you want. If things don’t change – look deeper – maybe you are happier than you think – right where you are.

Lesson 21

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

Burn the Candles, Use the Nice Sheets, Wear the Fancy Lingerie. Don’t Save Anything for a Special Occasion. Today Is Special Enough.

In this story Regina speaks of living life – now. She shares how in one of Erma Bombeck’s last columns, Erma’s wrote about what she would have done differently had she been given the opportunity to live her life over again. Regina vowed to honor Erma’s belief.

She resolved:

to quit checking emails while talking to her mother
to stop multitasking and to be more present in life and for others
to spend more time outdoors and worry less about her external appearance
to be more spontaneous with friends
to talk less about her world and listen more about what was going in the lives of others

But she failed to keep these promises to change. Until she got cancer.

Isn’t that the way most of us live our lives – rarely do we ever stop to smell the roses until it’s critically imperative. Rarely do we expose our vulnerability to take a risk for fear of judgement or perceived unacceptability.

This two was the case with my life until about five years ago. That’s when I decided to live with zest and to live life with risk – to do whatever I could do that might put a smile on someone else’s face and hopefully cause no harm (not always do I get this right!)

Oh ya – and that would be different, new, challenging and most importantly PERCEIVED in my mind as fun. Sometimes it’s not so much fun when I’m in the kitchen and things are getting hot – but afterwards it all seems to work out OK.

So what are some of my experiences:
I’ve taught English in at least 10 countries that don’t speak English as their mother tongue and more importantly I didn’t speak their native language either. I’ve written 4 books, developed a TV show, ran a marathon, I’ve been a guest speaker on a number of occasions, and assisted in starting two companies.

But maybe the biggest stretch was to record six country comedy songs last month that I co-wrote with my four sons via Skype. An interesting point here is that while my sons have been recording artists for over twenty years. I have only stood behind a microphone as a joke with two friends where we sang Hank Jr’s “All my Rowdy Friends” and took part in a few group vocals where all I needed to do was holler out the lyrics.

So here I was, the guy that for years had told his sons what they needed to do and how to get it done – clueless, inexperienced and vulnerably exposed myself to losing all credibility in addition to looking like a complete fool, never mind a failure.

To put it mildly my son that was doing the recording had his patience pushed to the max. I can’t tell you how many times he said that I was clueless haha. But the greatest revelation came when I was singing one of the hooks “Your just a chip of the old man’s block” and he was yelling at me to get in time, stay on pitch, focus!!!

Had I not had the courage to live, to walk on the wild side, to risk my vulnerability and to expose my weaknesses in recording these songs, I would have never found this beautiful compassion and understanding of just how damn hard it was at times to be my son. And from that compassion I was able to reply to his comments with a smile and a thank you. Knowing that if he learned one way from me he can learn the other way from me as well.

That being said, we shared a lot of good laughs and it’s all good.

It’s nice to know that you’re secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he’ll never leave you just so you won’t feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he’d still stay by your side, just so you won’t feel alone.

It’s so good to know that you have someone who’ll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you’re having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he’d be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It’s great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you’d be able to communicate, just like that.

It’s overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn’t have to have reasons for loving you.

It’s more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don’t choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It’s a wonderful feeling when you’re on the verge of giving up the things you’ve worked hard for, someone isn’t just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he’d also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you’ll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It’s a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you’ll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.

It’s a nice feeling that when you’re apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you’d fight over that feeling because you’re looking forward to seeing each other, and that’s something to be happy about.

It’s a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you’re together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won’t matter as long as you’re together.

It’s a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you’ll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It’s a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won’t matter coz it doesn’t matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It’s good to know that you have someone who’ll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn’t mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he’s unselfishly giving.

It’s a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too… He’d feel as if he’s the luckiest person alive.

… when in fact, you’re more blessed to have him.

Author Unknown

Lesson 20

Reflections on life based upon the book “God Never Blinks” 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

When It Comes to Going After What You Love in Life, Don’t Take No for an Answer.

This story focused on Regina’s love to write. From as early as grade five she felt she had a passion for writing. However, it seemed that at every turn in the road she faced the word No or worse humiliation.