�Who Says You Can�t Teach an Old Dog a New Trick or Two�

Today is Mother’s Day in Thailand so I added a little story about just how powerful the love of a mother can be. May we all be so blessed.

After the divorce, her teenage daughter became increasingly rebellious.

It culminated late one night when the police called to tell her that she had to come to the police station to pick up her daughter, who was arrested for drunk driving.

They didn’t speak until the next afternoon.

Mom broke the tension by giving her daughter a small gift-wrapped box.

Her daughter nonchalantly opened it and found a small piece of a rock.

She rolled her eyes and said, “Cute Mom, what’s this for?”

“Here’s the card,” Mom said.

Her daughter took the card out of the envelope and read it. Tears started to trickle down her cheeks.

She got up and gave her mom a big hug as the card fell to the floor.

On the card were these words:

“This rock is more than 200 million years old. That’s how long it will take before I give up on you.”

 Author Unknown, Source Unknown

Take a small piece of paper – hold it up in front of you.

There will be a right side and a left side.

Tear it in half and throw away the left side so all you have left is the right side.

IMPOSSIBLE – why, because you now have a new left side.

In Chinese philosophy, the concept of yin yang is used to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn. e.g. dark and light, female and male, low and high, cold and hot. That being said generally Taoist philosophy discounts good/bad distinctions as superficial labels, preferring to focus on the idea of balance. (Wikipedia)

However for this example I would like you to remain focused on the logic that contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent and refrain from the semantics that allow us to become distracted from the obvious truth.  

Ok now consider yourself – and what you have been taught about good and bad.

Now go get a chainsaw and cut away your bad half. (KIDDING)

But you get my point if you had a bad side and you got rid of it you will only have a new bad side. Hmmmm.

So does that mean you will always be bad – well if bad was a part of you then the answer would be yes. BUT that’s where the truth comes into play. YOU ARE NOT BAD NOR ARE YOU GOOD – you’re just what you are – a PERFECT creation of you.

That being said, it now comes down to choice and external interpretation. What is good and what is bad and what you base you choice upon.

We all can choose to be good or bad – BUT IT’S NOT US THAT IS GOOD OR BAD – it is the action we take based upon our choice that was determined to be good or bad, based upon what we’ve been taught to be good or bad from the men who wrote the religious texts or those who interpret the religious texts or from the modern day law makers who now make the modern day form of government and YES – who are in control and determine what is good or bad.

Here is an example of bad and good (EXTREME EXAMPLE)

I’m sitting in a restaurant and I take out a gun and shot three people behind the counter. I’m a bad person?

I’m a soldier in Afghanistan and I shoot three armed Taliban threatening to harm a group of women. I’m a good person?

After I shoot the three restaurant workers it becomes clear that they were homegrown terrorists and that they had plans to bomb a school in Vancouver. I’m a good person?

After I shoot the three armed Taliban soldiers it becomes clear they are young boys and they were only serving because if they didn’t their families would be killed by the extremist leaders. I’m a bad person?

The point being – I’M STILL THE SAME PERSON – what made my choice good or bad was your interpretation of my actions in each example – because the result was the same.

We’ve been fed a lot of information over the course of our lives based upon the interpretation of those in power as to what’s good or bad and it’s now time for these teachings to be seriously challenged. Why, because many of these teachings are no longer applicable in today’s world and the original intent has become redundant, unproductive and in many cases down right dangerous.   

The time is now for us to reclaim our own conscience, to trust ourselves and to base our choices not on what’s going to be the most rewarding externally (money, heaven, and/or the acceptance of others) but what is going to create the most peace internally. We were all created equal. We don’t need to follow to understand and to know. It is within us all. We don’t need to allow guilt and shame to determine our choices. We can base our choices upon our internal peace. We must overcome controlling and manipulating forms of control if we ever hope to find self-love and internal peace and we must remember that we were all created perfect – as perfect as we can possibly be.

STOP!

Take one quick look around. Your life is amazing and anything you want can and will become a reality if you are willing to focus on it and take action.

Ok now you are thinking of all the things that you can’t do and why I am wrong?  Up 2 U! For myself I know that that’s just the ego limiting your greatness – the ego is much happier when you are wallowing in “POOR ME.”.

Now take a second and think about why you do limit yourself? There is no good reason – That’s right there is no good reason – seriously what do you gain by limiting yourself – NOTHING!

So here’s a little tip that has served me well throughout my life: Find a greater purpose – by that I mean make your goals with the greater good of all mankind as the core.

Example: You want to travel the world – build a plan where you will stop at one orphanage per week and read a book to the children – it doesn’t matter if they understand – it only matters to the children that you care.

You don’t need to be Bill Gates and the boys to bring a ray of sunshine to the world – all you need to do is embrace your greatness – reach out to others and at the same time improve your own life!   

Here’s an interesting link I received today!

Volunteer Grandparents

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/Volunteer+Grandparents+unite+generations/3328504/story.html

A young student from a prestigious university was taking a walk with one of his professors. This was no ordinary professor, this was the professor commonly called “The Students’ Friend,” because of the kindness, patience and compassion he showed to his students. As they walked along the student noticed a pair of old shoes, which he believed belonged to a poor man working in the fields nearby.

The student turned to the professor, saying: “Let’s play a trick on the worker: we will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes, and watch to see how he reacts.”

“My young friend,” answered the professor, “we should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the others. In fact I’m sure you’ll attain greater pleasure by placing a coin into each shoe. Once you have we’ll hide ourselves and watch how the discovery affects him.”

The student placed a coin in each shoe and then along with the professor hide in the bushes. Soon the poor man finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes. After pulling on his coat he slipped his foot into one of the shoes; feeling something hard, he stopped, stooped down and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder graced his face. He gazed upon the coin, turned it round, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around, but no one was to be seen. He slid the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; to his surprise he found the other coin. Feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees, looked up to the heavens and uttered aloud a passionate thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without food and how this timely gift from an unknown hand would save them all from perishing.

The student stood there deeply affected, his eyes filling with tears. “Now,” said the professor, “is your pleasure not greater than had you played your intended trick?”

The youth replied, “You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget.”

“It is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.”

Author Unknown

Today I was watching the sparrows, ducks, geese and squirrels running around in the park. To me it was simply amazing that they could live completely within the moment and at least from my perspective, appear happy. In fact not one of these animals, not even a squirrel was hording food for tomorrow or appeared concerned about the future.

So what is it that makes humans so different and why do we need more and more? 

I mean once we have a roof over our head and enough food to eat, just what is it that pushes us to add all the extras that really plays no part what-so-ever in improving our life – in fact most of it ends up in a garage or a basement?

For me the interesting question is; when is enough, enough and more importantly why?

Or has our internal pain become so great that our only hope for happiness is to throw up enough smoke to trick ourselves that an inflated external persona will fill the void we have internally?

How can we speak each other’s love language when we are full of hurt, anger, and resentment over past failures? The answer to that question lies in the essential nature of our humanity. We are creatures of choice. That means we have the capacity to make poor choices, which all of us have done. We have spoken critical words, and we have done hurtful things. We are not proud of those choices, although they may have seemed justified at the moment. Poor choices in the past don’t mean that we must make them in the future. Instead we can say, “I’m sorry. I know I have hurt you, but I would like to make the future different. I would like to love you in your language. I would like to meet your needs.” I have seen marriages rescued from the brink of divorce when couples make the choice of love.

Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different. When we choose active expressions of love in the primary love language of our spouse, we create an emotional climate where we can deal with our past conflicts and failures.

Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages

All I can say is that after reading this book I’ve made a conscious effort to give love – ESPECIALLY – to those with whom my past relationships were tainted with hurt and anger.

The result – I have never experienced internal peace like I have now.

I wish the same for you.  

Why would we ever want to grow up when life can be so beautiful and pure through the eyes of a child.

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before.  After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!”  I will  probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye….

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.  He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.   My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,  “Did you start at 1?”

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,  putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
“Who was THAT?”

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like.  “We used to skate outside on a pond.   I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”
The little girl was wide-eyed,  taking this all in.  At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

5.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?”  “You’re both old,” he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
“What’s it about?” he asked. 
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

7.  I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out  something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me and was always correct.  It was fun for me, so I continued.  At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors  yourself!”

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,  we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.   Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa.  Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.”  “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised  “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today.”  The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said.  “How do you make babies?” 
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

11. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote:  “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”   The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child.
“No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.”
A third child brought the argument to a close.”They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.  “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.  Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!  He teaches me good good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over,  you  hear gas leaks and they blame the dog.

When we walk a separate path we will always spark query in others.

Last night I was reading an interesting book, “The 4 – Hour Work Week” written by Timothy Ferriss. The objective of the book is to cut back on the hours we work and reclaim what really counts most in our life – living.

It’s funny how once we become aware of a condition – confirmation readily appears. Yesterday my son asked me, “Dad when you had lots of money wasn’t your life easier than today?” My reply, “Certainly not!” I went on to explain that the more we have the more we need and the faster the rat race closes in on us. With more we have more repairs, more maintenance, more expenses, more, more, more.

Now I have it made – I have nothing to hold me down – one duffle bag. I am free to go where I need to go and of greater importance I have the awareness to follow my intuition and trust the direction that I’m pointed in.

Back to the book, Timothy equates the first 10 minutes of sorting through his clothing like choosing which child should live or die. How could he ever throw out things that at one time were good enough to spend money on.

For me, when I took this leap of faith – I determined that others needed all my extra clothing more than I. What do I mean by extra clothing – more than 5 outfits. OMG!!! I can hear the gasps now. But you see, no longer do I concern myself with impressing others with my external wares, I now concern myself with warmth and comfort and who I am as a person.    

Speaking of confirmation – as I was beginning to write, a friend of my son’s girlfriend stated that she had just read an article where a group of women are wearing the same clothes for 30 straight days (of course they are washing them) – but they are loving it – they can change accessories like a belt or shoes, but the clothes remain the same. I guess they’ve all learned what I’ve learned – that a smaller wardrobe cuts back on all the wear and tear on deciding what to wear – now all they have to do is shave their heads.

Discovering the primary love language of your spouse is essential if you are to keep their emotional love tank full. But first, let’s make sure you know your own love language. …

What is your primary love language? What makes you feel most loved by your spouse? What do you desire above all else? If the answer to those questions does not leap to your mind immediately, perhaps it will help to look at the negative use of love languages. What does your spouse do or say that hurts you deeply? If, for example, your deepest pain is the critical, judgmental words of your spouse, then perhaps your primary love language is “Words of Affirmation.” If your primary love language is used negatively by your spouse – that is, does the opposite – it will hurt you more deeply than it would hurt someone else because not only is he neglecting to speak to your primary love language, he is actually using that language as a knife to your heart.

Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages

I think from Gary’s comments above, we can see that if we are not meeting the needs of our partner’s love language we are in effect not showing or giving them love as they know love.

Obviously this in of itself will create problems within a relationship, but there is another culprit that at times gets in the way, even when we know exactly what we need to be offering to our partner. Now I can’t speak for others, but for myself, at times my ego demands that my needs be met first. At these times it seems like only after my needs are met – will my ego relinquish control and consider meeting the needs of my partner.

The challenge, control my ego, meet my partners love language needs and have the faith that in time, things will fall into place.

A great little story that reflects a belief I’ve had for some years now – heaven is not a destination – but – a state of being and that we are one with our higher power – in other words, at least from my understanding, there is no thrown of judgment or condemnation. 

Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith.

That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long.. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn’t what’s on your head but what’s in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped.  I immediately filed Tommy under “S” for strange… Very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the “atheist in residence” in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone, “Do you think I’ll ever find God?”

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. “No!” I said very emphatically.

“Why not,” he responded, “I thought that was the product you were pushing.”

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then I called out, “Tommy!  I don’t think you’ll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you! “He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line — He will find you! At least I thought it was clever.

Later I heard that Tommy had graduated, and I was duly grateful.

Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy.

But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. “Tommy, I’ve thought about you so often; I hear you are sick,” I blurted out.

“Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It’s a matter of weeks.”

“Can you talk about it, Tom?” I asked.

“Sure, what would you like to know?” he replied.

“What’s it like to be only twenty-four and dying?

“Well, it could be worse.

“Like what?

“Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life..

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under “S” where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)

“But what I really came to see you about,” Tom said, “is something you said to me on the last day of class.”(He remembered!) He continued, “I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, ‘No!’ which surprised me Then you said, ‘But He will find you.’ I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time.

(My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)

“But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that’s when I got serious about locating God.. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging  fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out.

In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying.  And then you quit.

“Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn’t really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that.

I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: ‘The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.’”

“So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him. “Dad.”

Yes, what?” he asked without lowering the newspaper. “Dad, I would like to talk with you.”

“Well, talk.”

“I mean. It’s really important.”

The newspaper came down three slow inches. “What is it?”

“Dad, I love you, I just wanted you to know that.  ”Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.” The newspaper fluttered to the floor.

Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me.”

“It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years.

“I was only sorry about one thing — that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.

“Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn’t come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, ‘C’mon, jump through. C’mon, I’ll give you three days, three weeks.’”

“Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him.” 

“Tommy,” I practically gasped, “I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that.

He said: ‘God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him. ‘Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn’t be half as effective as if you were to tell it.

“Oooh. I was ready for you, but I don’t know if I’m ready for your class.”

“Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call.”

In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date.

However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class.

Before he died, we talked one last time.

“I’m not going to make it to your class,” he said. 

“I know, Tom.”

“Will you tell them for me? Will you … tell the whole world for me?”

I will, Tom. I’ll tell them. I’ll do my best.”

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story, thank you for listening.

If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two.

It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.

With thanks, Rev. John Powell, Professor, Loyola

University, Chicago