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I received the following article in an email and to my way of thinking the author has done a very fair assesment of Spirituality vs Religion. Now I can see the benefits that religion offers to its followers however from my perspective Religion also affirms ego, judgement and identity to determine that one ’s selected religion is better in some way or another over other Religions – if not there would still only be one religion – the first one whatever that was. 

In any case I can’t comprehend the discrepancy that one faith is better than another or that there is only one path to heaven because as a father while all my children are different I still send equal love to them all and I for one hope and pray that God is more tolerant, and loving than I! 

Article By: Tejvan Pettinger

Religion is a path to God. Spirituality is also a path to God. However they have differences in approach.

“The essence of religion:

Fear God and obey God.

The quintessence of spirituality:

Love God and become another God.”

Sri Chinmoy

Past vs Present. Religion tends to take great inspiration from the past. It reveres the ancient religious texts, as the way to achieve salvation. Spirituality is not so concerned with the past. Spirituality believes in the eternal now. To attain liberation we need to live in the present. It is not the past or the future that gives us liberation. We achieve peace of mind only when we concentrate on doing the right thing here and now.

Fear vs Love. Quite often religion takes the approach of fearing God. Religion is a reminder to do the right thing so will not suffer in the future. The spiritual approach to God is through the path of love. Spirituality teaches us not to fear God, but approach him through the path of love.

Where is God? Often religion talks of God as being high in the heavens. At times God can seem far from the reach of aspiring humanity. Spirituality shows us that God is omniscient and omnipresent and can be felt as a living presence in our own heart. Furthermore not only is God reachable but we can attain the inner realisation of God.

Universality. Many followers of religion feel that only their path can lead to salvation. They have tremendous faith in their own religion, but at the same time they feel other religions are wrong and cannot lead a seeker to God. Spirituality feels that all religions are valid. Spirituality knows there are many paths to the same goal. Spirituality embraces all the world religions, but at the same time, is not constrained by any religious dogmas or forms.

Outer worship vs Inner Worship. Religion places great emphasis on outer forms and outer rituals. These are helpful for giving a sense of formality to the worship of God. But spirituality is not concerned with outer rituals. Spirituality says that what is important is a seeker’s inner attitude. Through practising spirituality we seek to develop an inner shrine in our own heart.

Religion and spirituality have their differences but at the same time Religion can embrace spirituality. Through following their religion great saints have attained the fruits and realisations of a mystical approach to God. This includes Christian mystics such as Teresa of Avila, St Francis of Assisi. Sufi Saints like Rumi, Hafiz and Attar. In fact each religion has produced spiritual seekers of the highest order.

It had been years since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved across the country in pursuit of his dreams. In the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and very little time to spend with his wife and son. He was busy working on his future, and nothing could stand in his way.

Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. “Jack, did you hear me?” “Oh I’m sorry Mom! Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said. “Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him. “I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said. “He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important… Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he returned home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one last time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like stepping back in time. The house was exactly the same. Every step, picture, piece of furniture held memories, Jack stopped suddenly. “What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked. “The box is gone,” he said. “What box?” Mom asked. “There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,’” Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly as Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. “Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Your signature is required on a package. No one was at home. Please stop by the post office within the next three days.”

Early the next day Jack picked up the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. It read, “Mr. Harold Belser.” Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.

“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

“Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser.”

“The thing he valued most…was…my time.”

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked.

“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said. “Oh, by the way, Janet… thanks for your time!”

Internet Submission – Author Unknown 

In my past I have been guilty of focusing on things that really weren’t important in life – and I can attest to that because the things that I gave importance to are now gone. I pushed people aside to attain power and prestige and I gave priority to materialistic desires. But I have since learned that the greatest gift we will ever receive in life is time – the time we are given to make a difference in this world, the time we are given to make a positive influence on the lives of others, the time to live, learn, laugh, love and forgive. Thanks for your time!

For the past few months I have been staying with my parents and I have to be honest – the experience has been wonderful. Seriously I can’t believe how much I’m learning about myself and why I do the things I do and the way I do them.

In addition I think for the first time in my life I have actually been listening to my parents and watching how they react to various situations. Yup they’re human and that’s pretty nice to see. We all have faults but when you observe someone’s faults without judgement those perceived faults actually become quite loveable little quirks.

Really this is simply amazing – but what’s even more amazing is how my parents are accepting constructive criticism on how to adjust the unproductive behaviours and patterns that they’ve been unconsciously following for years. Now I’m not going to get into all of these points individually but I will say this; for 83 and 86 years of age these two are pretty darn open minded, flexible and willing live life to its fullest even if it does require exercising their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual dimensions 2 or 3 times a day. And the change is really obvious to a lot of people.

Now of course it certainly is a lot easier to listen to someone when they aren’t attacking you, blaming you or negatively criticizing you and in the past I have to admit I could be pretty condemning and pretty harsh. However my new found approach (5 years in Buddhist countries) has taught me that I must lead by example, seeking to understand, acting with compassion and look to forgive. You see it’s the forgiving of others that allowed me to forgive myself and it’s that forgiveness of myself that has greatly reduced the condemning and harshness that I dispersed throughout my past.

So I guess what this really all comes down to is that given the right opportunity and a positive loving environment change is possible within all of us. We just need to understand that blame solves nothing, guilt is unproductive and if we want our life to improve it all comes down to our willingness to forgive our self, through the forgiveness of others.

So like my mom used to say – sweep your own door step first.

Last night I had an opportunity to speak to one of my sons about the reality of LOVE!

The Buddha stated that we can only really love one person in our life and that person is our self.

Now to many of us this may sound a bit strange and when I ask most people “Who is the one person you love in your life?” most reply “My mom or my Dad!”

But here is the catch – love is an act – the act of giving; giving kindness, giving patience, giving generosity, giving courtesy, giving humility, giving honesty and giving forgiveness. So how can we give away something unless we already have it? Well logically it’s impossible, because we can’t give away anything unless we already possess it. Therefore, the claim of the Buddha that we must first love our self makes complete sense. Well at least to me. So again, once we love of our self, then and only then can we give it away.

So how do we obtain self love – again we must give – for what we give we shall receive – if I give kindness – I feel kind, if I give patience – I feel patient and so on. Therefore “self love” is selfless and unconditional and without question possibly the most difficult pursuit we will ever personally undertake. Why, because self forgiveness is a condition of self love and as Scott Peck spoke of in his book ‘The Road Less Travelled’ we are all self destructive by nature. But we must remember that any improvement is better than no improvement.  

 In addition there other obstacles we must overcome if we are to ever fully understand love. One of the toughest challenges is to accept that love is ‘NOT’ a feeling! How can that be you ask? We watch movies and read books and all the time people are being swept off their feet in the throes of love – but it’s simply not true. Lust, desire, cravings, infatuation, wants, needs, and so forth are the feelings that compel us to seek out the opposite sex, but I assure you these feelings are not love, but rather a genetic desire to procreate. Truth be told these feelings begin to fade after a year or two, leading many people to believe that they are actually falling out of love.

You see love is relatively passive in most relationships (offering to help with dinner, waiting patiently for the toilet) and is not often tested until our ego is shattered because of some perceived wrong that our significant other has inflicted upon us. It is at that moment that we either apply the humility of love or succumb to the taunting of our ego and lash out and proclaiming injustice.

Love teaches us to care, understand and to humble ourselves in these times of difficulty. The true test of love is to overcome our egos desires and needs to protect against pain and hurt and to act positively, supporting others when their actions are damaging to themselves and to the lives of those around them.

For example; today’s’ hot topic – Tiger Woods – Now I don’t condone the actions of Tiger, but as a past member of the fraternity of unfaithful males – I cannot cast the first stone, however I do know why we as human beings succumb to these errors in judgement. Why – to paraphrase an old Waylon Jennings song – we are “Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places”.

Tiger is no different than any other human, he exercised poor judgment as we all have in various ways and at various times in our lives, but he doesn’t need to be ground into the dirt either. He needs to be given love and to be guided to the self love he was in search of.

We can have everything materialistic in life, but without self love we have nothing. The quick fix never works – instantaneous gratification is short lived but slick marketers know our weakness and target it through sex, alcohol, food, clothing, fast cars and multiple other items creating the illusion that there is an external cure for this internal void.

But external gratification is not and never will be the answer. For Tiger and his wife they have their work cut out, but the answer is not for her to leave or for him to run – it’s now time for both of them to roll up their sleeves and get down to the business of LOVE and overcome the immediate demands and pressures of their egos.

At one of Stephen Covey’s seminar’s a man came up to Stephen and said,

“Stephen, I like what you are saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just dont love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”

“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” Stephen asked.

“Thats right.” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”

“Love her,” Stephen replied.

“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.”

“Love her.” Stephen again replied.

“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”

“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?”

Stephen replied, “My friend, love is a verb. Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

Any way you slice it, it takes two to tango – so if we want love – we give love.

In Calgary, Alberta a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his dreams. That was no longer possible. The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son’s dream to come true.

She took her son’s hand and asked, ‘Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?’

Mommy, ‘I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.’

Mom smiled back and said, ‘Let’s see if we can make your wish come true.’ Later that day she went to her local fire department in Calgary, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Alberta. She explained her son’s final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, ‘Look, we can do better than that. If you’ll have your son ready at seven o’clock Wednesday morning, we’ll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! And if you’ll give us his sizes, we’ll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat – not a toy – one-with the emblem of the Calgary Fire Department on it, and a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.’ ‘They’re all manufactured right here in Calgary, so we can get them fast.’

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Calgary that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedic’s’ van, and even the fire chief’s car. He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, Billy lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept – that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.

The chief replied, ‘We can do better than that.  We’ll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire?’ ‘It’s the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?’ About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy’s third floor open window——– 16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy’s room. With his mother’s permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.

With His dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, ‘Chief, am I really a fireman now?’

‘Billy, you are, and The Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,’ the chief said.

With those words, Billy smiled and said, ‘I know, He’s been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing.’

He closed his eyes one last time.

In our day-to-day life we have many opportunities to give little gifts to others that will enhance their day and make their life a little bit better. These little gifts are the gift of love. Love is kindness, patience, generosity, courtesy, humility, forgiveness and honesty. Fireman Bob took the time to be kind (to openly and willingly receive Billy’s moms wish and act upon it), he took the time to be patient (to take the time to really listen to Billy’s mom’s need and act upon it), he took the time to be generous (to act and give of his time to have Billy’s uniform made), he took the time to be courteous (he acted in a respectful manor to the pain Billy and his mother were going through), he took the time to be humble (he set his own intentions and needs aside and acted to fulfill the needs of Billy and his mother), he took the time to forgive (he forgave life for taking this young boy at such an early age and acted without resentment or anger) and he took the time to be honest (he took action and fulfilled his commitments to Billy, his mother and to himself) – and it was Fireman Bob’s willingness to act that emotionally pulled at our hearts as we read this story because we all know it is within us too – to be channels of love – all we have to do is find the time and the willingness to give it away.