�Who Says You Can�t Teach an Old Dog a New Trick or Two�

Two days ago I had to go and pick up my medical results. I had no reason for concern but I did have the occasional negative thought creep into my head. Fortunately for me over the years I have learned to displace negative thinking with positive thoughts through the practice of meditation. To cut to the chase everything was fine, but it was on the bus ride home that my concern for society was tweaked.

As I sat on the bus I watched each member of “Generational L” climb aboard. Wow was it disheartening! Not one person out of 10, over the age of 50 entered that bus with any spark of enthusiasm for life.  It was like they had reached the age of “Self Seeking Sympathy” the “Poor Me – Pity Pot” Syndrome.

BUT WHY?

Sure one or two people may have had some form of disability but 10 out of 10 needing canes, walkers, limping at turtle speed, requiring additional assistance to get on or off of the bus – NO WAY!  To me it was as if they had finally found the magical way to attain attention and they were now important in some small primitive way. But it’s all wrong – we still have so much left to give – yes I said give! We must change the way we think and alter our personal expectations of what lays before us as we age. Now I’m not saying we won’t get older but what I am saying is that we can approach life with zest and enthusiasm at any age if we want too – it’s simply a matter of choice.

Back in 1995 I was a foolish 40 year-old in the midst of a midlife crisis. I was persuaded by a few friends to ride a bull, yes a real bull, horns and all. Well the result wasn’t pretty, when I hit the ground I blew out half of a disc in my lower back. For a month I couldn’t bend over more than a couple of inches as I awaited my appointment to see a neurosurgeon at Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville TN. When I finally got in to see him and after a quick look at my x-rays he said, “Here are your options; first I can operate and you will be 80% pain free and 20% pain for the rest of your life and second, if you go to the gym and workout faithfully and keep yourself in shape you will be 80% pain free and 20% pain for the rest of your life.

Now I have to admit I was stunned! Here I was with the top neurosurgeon in the US and he was telling me there was no quick fix. Yes I wanted the quick fix like 90% of all N. Americans, but after listening to him a little longer I chose the gym with the realization that if I didn’t choose to control my own destiny and the physical state of my body I was never going to be comfortable again. Fifteen years later I can happily report that pain in my lower back is now a rare occurrence rather than a reoccurring state.

So what’s the point here – you got to give a little to get a little – start exercising one day at a time – apply self discipline to keep yourself going and set small attainable goals. Once these goals are accomplished set new goals, upping the challenge just a little. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I can promise you this – if you start today your life will be a whole lot better one year from now – all you need to do is stick to it!

The world has become an increasingly difficult place to live.  If we haven’t the skills to maintain control over our emotions our lives will spiral out of control, and we will be stuck in the rut of casting blame either inward or outward.

The evidence has been piling up throughout history, and now neuroscientists have proved it’s true: the brain’s wiring emphatically relies on emotion over intellect in decision-making.
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/discoveries/2006-08-06-brain-study_x.htm

Most people believe that emotions are caused by events.  They are in fact caused by our interpretations of events, sometimes so fleeting and fast as to be beneath the level of consciousness.  Our pre-conscious, split-second thoughts give rise to automatic emotional reactions.  We then have a choice as to how we behave, what we say, and how we handle a situation.  The appropriateness of our actions and the effectiveness of our communications make up our emotional intelligence.  People who are highly developed emotionally become sensitive to pre-conscious thoughts, question their validity and appropriateness, and are able to directly influence their feelings, personal beliefs and behaviors.

The more aware we become of our emotions and associated reactions the better equipped we become at stemming and preventing situations that we may regret at some point later on in the future.

The good news is that we can learn to control our emotions. Like learning to play a guitar we must discipline our self to practice these skills, it does not come natural. We must program our mind to accept this new way of thinking, again it does not come natural and last we must overcome the barrage of information out there that says we have the right to release our emotions because it is healthy and it will make us feel better.  NOT ALWAYS!

“In navigating our lives, it is our fears and envies, our rages and depressions, our worries and anxieties that steer us day to day. Even the most academically brilliant among us are vulnerable to being undone by unruly emotions. The price we pay for emotional literacy is in failed marriages and troubled families, in stunted social and work lives, in deteriorating physical health and mental anguish.”
Daniel Goleman

Take a minute to think about it – have you ever felt good after losing control of your emotions. Have you ever been cut off in traffic and became angry? Did it make you feel good after releasing your instantaneous emotion of fear or anger? No matter how right you feel, the pain of losing control of self throws the whole body out of kilter. No one ever feels good after losing control of their emotions – it’s a fallacy.