�Who Says You Can�t Teach an Old Dog a New Trick or Two�

We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Numerous research projects in the area of child development have reached that conclusion: Babies who are held, hugged, and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact.

Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all common ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse.

Don’t make the mistake of believing that the touch that brings pleasure to you will bring pleasure to her.

Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages

After reading this book and consciously taking steps to apply what I’d read to my daily interactions with my sons, my parents and friends, I was amazed at the positive impact they were having.

That being said the love language of “Physical Touch” had never been a strong suit of mine. OK – I’m a guy so sex and any foreplay to get to sex was pretty much what I believed to be the extent of touching. Holding hands, walking arm in arm or sitting close – well they never really crossed my mind – WHY – because “I” felt uncomfortable doing it. But after reading this book I’m aware that “Physical Touch” is important to one of my sons. So even though it may feel strange to me I throw the occasional arm around his shoulder and if you think this is all hog wash – come and catch a glimpse of the smile that erupts on his face each time I give this simple little gesture of love.

Just because one love language is the furthest thing from my mind – doesn’t mean it’s not the number one priority to the person I am interacting with.

Such actions as cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning a commode, changing the baby’s diaper, dusting the bookcase, keeping the car in operating condition, paying the bills, trimming the shrubs, walking the dog, changing the cat’s litter box, and dealing with landlords and insurance companies are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

People tend to criticize their spouses most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages

I love the line – If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

What we give in life is exactly what we get back.

A few years back I heard a story of an old monk and his willingness to give acts of service. As the story goes a young monk from another country was visiting the temple and became interested in this old monk working away cleaning vegetables in the blazing heat, sweat pouring down his face. He asked “Excuse me may I ask how old you are?” The old monk replied “Somewhere in my 80’s.” The young monk took a moment to think and then asked, “There are many young monks here that would do this for you if you ask them. Then you can rest in the shade.” The old monk replied, “If I don’t do it, who will?”

Why would we want someone else to do our work – if they are doing our job, who will do theirs?

Buddhist teaching states “If you are to do something – do it to the best of your ability.” Whatever your job is makes little difference in the grand scheme of your life. However, how you approach your job makes all the difference in your life.

As for those whose partner’s love language is “Acts of Service” well it not hard to see – they are always doing something for you.