Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others. That’s why individuals have different attitudes toward wedding rings. Some never take the rings off after the wedding. Others don’t even wear a wedding band. That is another sign that people have different primary love languages. If receiving gifts is my primary love language, I will place great value on the ring you have given me and I will wear it with great pride. I will also be greatly moved emotionally by other gifts that you give through the years. I will see them as expressions of love. Without gifts as visual symbols, I may question your love.

Gifts come in all sizes, colors, and shapes. Some are expensive, and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost of the gift will matter little!

There is an intangible gift that sometimes speaks more loudly than a gift that can be held in ones hand. I call it the gift of self or the gift of presence. Being there when your spouse needs you speaks loudly to the one whose primary love language is receiving gifts.

Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages

For me the love language “Receiving Gifts” can present a bit of a challenge, because I could personally care less if I ever receive a gift. In fact when I took the love language test I scored a perfect “0″ on “Receiving Gifts.”

So what makes giving or receiving gifts a problem in my relationships? It’s not natural for me to consider this act, in fact I rarely think of gifts. For me it’s far more natural to consider the importance of “Quality Time & Words of Affirmation.” Why? Because those two are MY primary love languages – the languages I consider important – the love languages I want. Where as receiving or giving gifts, well – NO COMPRENDE!

So would it be possible for me to have a relationship with someone whose primary love language was “Receiving Gifts?” Sure – why not! It wouldn’t be easy, but – ALL I NEED TO DO!!!!!! was go the extra mile and focus my awareness on HER needs.

Easy – no sweat – after all I know love is an act of giving, a continual challenge and in most cases flat out work. But it’s not impossible (well Gary said so – haha) – even if the task is completely foreign and far from natural from the way I normally think.

It all comes down to the point that if we give what we need and want – we may feel we are sending love – BUT – if this is not her primary love language, chances are she will still feel empty and unloved.

No wonder so many marriages end up in divorce, it’s not that we are not sending love; it’s just that we haven’t learned to speak the right language.